I play a lot of games that make me wish I was younger. Games that, at a different stage of life, you’d dig REALLY deep into. For the past week, I’ve been playing a game that made me glad I’m not younger. While playing Super Seducer 3, I was genuinely worried for the 18 – 25-year-old demographic that might consider the things in this game great advice. Maybe even a little embarrassed that, at a younger age, I would have taken these tips and tried to use them on girls at the bar. While I’m not going to tell you or anyone that things in this game definitely do NOT work, I will instead ask that you take my advice in not letting a game help you get laid.
Super Seducer 3
Developer: RLR Training Inc
MonsterVine was supplied a PC code for review
Before I get into the critique, I think the notion of a pick-up artist making a video game to teach people who play video games to pick up chicks in real life is extremely condescending. Especially when you start digging into the game and a lot of the basic advice, which isn’t wrong, is pretty obvious stuff. Super Seducer 3 also spends a lot of time putting you in unlikely situations or in places that adults just aren’t commonly visiting. We’ll explore more of that later in the review.
Super Seducer 3 is an FMV choice-driven video game with the occasional quick-time event. The game centers around the game’s protagonist, Richard La Ruina, who is also the game’s creator. There’s a level of narcissism in selling your game so you can get laid. When I think of games with a sexual component to them, I always go back to one of my favorite point-and-click adventure games, Leisure Suit Larry. Al Lowe is clearly a pervert but even he decided to make a protagonist that was incapable of getting laid. Granted, the two biggest differences between those games is that Leisure Suit Larry is comedic and Richard La Ruina claims he actually wants to help you get laid.
The intro starts out and really, you have to give it to this guy, he is selling this idea that your life is going to be completely changed after playing this game. He’s in a very white room, wearing all white, and surrounded by women in tight, revealing, white clothing milling about around him. Some of them are eating food, some are fixing their makeup or changing clothes. The premise here is absolutely absurd. Our protagonist, Richard, is in the center of the room and begins telling us that the scenarios in Super Seducer 3 are 600 percent more likely to get you laid than the last two games. Very promising. He never spends any time explaining where he got that figure from or even what percentage that brings us to overall: just 600 percent more likely. My heart immediately sank.
While I knew what Super Seducer was from the previous games, after watching the trailer I had hoped that Richard La Ruina realized how absurd the past two games were and decided to take a more satirical approach. I guess I gave him too much credit.
In a linear progression, you’re given somewhat normal scenarios in which the goal is to get the main character laid by answering multiple-choice questions. Usually, the multiple-choice questions have two ridiculous answers: one right answer and one wrong answer. Either the right or wrong answer will end with Richard in a room full of attractive half-naked women telling you why the answer was correct or incorrect. The scenarios themselves start out with very normal situations. In the first scenario, we’re trying to get Richard laid with a buxom young woman he runs into at the supermarket. He spots her large chest through a shelf and immediately decides to move in on his prey. As a newly single guy, I’m just laughing at this situation before it progresses.
I’m going to give Richard the benefit of the doubt and assume I’m just far more reclusive than others, but have you ever seen someone attractive at the grocery store and tried to talk them up? Or let’s flip it around. Have you ever been at the grocery store and thought to yourself, “Gee, I hope someone hits me up because I don’t spend nearly enough time at the grocer.” But hey, I know I’m not nearly good looking enough for this to be the case for me, and the type of woman I’m interested in isn’t going to be milling about a grocery store looking for someone to pick her up. This is where the game failed me right from the get-go. I found the buxom blonde very attractive–she’s very pretty! But the game’s first assumption is that you’re looking for this type of woman and are really only interested in having sex with her.
Given the name Super Seducer 3, that should be obvious. So I’ll plod along. We find out she loves tacos, so we buy some taco shit, have coffee with her, and head back to Richard’s apartment. Do you want to guess what Richard’s apartment looks like? It’s beautiful! It’s a set, don’t get me wrong. But every time he brings a woman back to his apartment they’re all taken by how well furnished it is or by the view. Another point where the game lost me. It makes a lot of assumptions that are only true of Richard. At one point during the conversation with the buxom blonde, it asked me what we should talk about. I clicked “pets,” which resulted in Richard talking about how he doesn’t like dogs or cats but has a fish, and the girl –predictably–doesn’t understand why people like having fish. What advice are we given? “Don’t bring up pets unless you’re really passionate about them or unless she is.”
Richard, how was I to know you don’t care for pets? More importantly, how am I supposed to know she’s NOT passionate about pets without asking her? What an absolutely pointless segment of this game. I love pets, and, quite frankly, I’m not interested at all in dicking down someone who’s not going to fall in love with my dog. So yeah, that one’s kind of important. We move onto the next scenario where I’m trying to have sex with a woman at the gym. Do people go to the gym hoping others talk to them? I haven’t been to the gym in a while since, well, pandemic. But unless I’m in a class where I’m learning something with another person, I’d prefer it if people acted like I didn’t exist. So here we go, sitting next to this girl on an exercise bike striking up a conversation. Let’s watch Richard try to get laid while this woman is obviously listening to something with her AirPods and wants to be left alone!
The third scenario presented is how to get a threesome going. It’s a two-parter! At this point, I’m just done with the game. Richard is incredibly awkward the whole time and while the production values appear to be high for an FMV game, Richard manages to look like an off-shift waiter most of the time. You know what I’m talking about: a white button-up shirt untucked, flamboyant pants, glazed over look in his eye. He manages to separate this girl from her group and lure her back to his apartment with the help of his date. It’s downright creepy. The second part is absolutely bonkers. Richard keeps champagne in his home and gets one of the girls to agree to a four-hand massage where she takes her clothes off and Richard and his date give the girl a massage. The logic adds up. The way it’s presented and everything, I just don’t know who this game is for and what Entourage-loving, backward-cap wearing meathead is sitting his ass down in front of a computer for several hours to take notes on how to bring girls home for a three-way.
Super Seducer 3 isn’t all bad though. There are some humorous situations that Richard can get himself into if you intentionally pick the joke answers. When trying to get my three-way going, I managed to shoot the other girl’s date and bring her back to my safe house. Unfortunately, just about all of the joke answers play out the same way: Richard does something stupid or goofy, the girl reacts to it expectantly, Richard stands there confused about why she left. It’s funny the first few times or when you manage to get a joke answer that’s hilariously absurd. But the acting and the writing aren’t good enough for these jokes to carry the game. Likewise, even the not-so-good answers can result in finding out that Richard isn’t a great dude. For example, I was picking what I thought was an obvious joke answer when I selected the box, “The gym is more important for a woman, less so for a man.” This resulted in Richard explaining that men just need powerful jobs and women need to stay healthy to get an attractive man. The game then cuts to Richard explaining that while it’s the wrong answer for this situation, he thinks it’s true.
The Final Word
I can’t say Super Seducer 3 is the worst game I’ve played. It’s technically proficient with what it does and not all of the advice is creepy or bad. However, pick-up-artists by nature are creepy and Richard La Ruina is no different. Super Seducer 3 would be good fun to play with a couple of friends on a boring night or to make fun of with some lady friends. Other than that though, my hope is that any particularly lonely gamers don’t use Super Seducer 3 as a blueprint for finding companionship. Even if you’re just looking to get laid, outside of a specific set of circumstances, emulating Richard La Ruina is more likely to get you slapped or kicked out of a bar than help you get close to someone you find attractive.
MonsterVine Rating: 2 out of 5 – Poor